Never Date Anyone Without These Green Flags

I've coached women on dating since 2013, and I've worked with hundreds of thousands of them. Most of them came to me with a long list of red flags they'd learned to watch for.

Almost none of them had a list of green flags.

Here's why that matters…

A man who's wrong for you can hide a red flag for six weeks. He's had practice. But green flags are a different thing. They show up over time, they cost him effort, and he can't fake them for long.

So if you're only watching for what's wrong, you'll miss the one signal that tells you what's right. There are 6 green flags I'd never want a woman to date without. Let's go through them.

Anyone can be wonderful on a date. The lights are low, the wine is good, and he's got your full attention.

The green flag is what he's like on a random Tuesday afternoon when there's nothing to gain.

Does he still check in? Is he still warm when you're both tired and the conversation is about nothing? Does he treat you the same way when no one's watching and there's no date at the end of it?

Consistency when there's nothing in it for him is the first thing I'd look for. It tells you the man you met is the man you're going to get.

The wrong man says "we should do something soon." The right man says "Thursday, seven, that Thai place you mentioned."

Sounds small. It's huge.

A man who makes real plans is a man who's thought about you when you weren't in front of him. He's picturing a future, even if it's only three days out, and he's willing to put his name on it.

"Soon" and "sometime" and "let's play it by ear" keep his options open. A day and a time close them. Watch which one he reaches for.

There's one question you can ask on a first date that tells you which kind of man he is before he ever makes a plan. I'll show you below.

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Ask him about his friends. Ask about his family. Then listen to how long the people in his life have been there.

A man with a friend from high school, a brother he calls every Sunday, a coworker he's kept in touch with through three jobs, that man knows how to keep someone.

And listen to how he talks about them. With warmth? With a story or two? Or is every person in his life someone who let him down?

How he treats the people who stayed is a preview of how he'll treat you once the newness wears off. It's one of the most reliable green flags there is, and he'll hand it to you happily over dinner.

Plenty of men ask questions on a first date. It's what happens with the answer that matters.

You mention your sister's having a rough month. Two weeks later he asks how she's doing. You say you hate cilantro. He orders for the table and quietly leaves it off.

That's a man who's paying attention because he wants to, and it's very hard to fake past the first few dates.

The wrong man asks questions to keep you talking. The right man asks because he actually wants to know you, and the proof is that he keeps what you told him.

At some point early on, you'll say no to something. A second drink. A late-night visit. A plan that doesn't work for you.

Watch what happens next.

The right man takes it in stride. He might be a little disappointed, and then he moves on. No sulking, no guilt trip, no going quiet for three days to teach you a lesson.

A man who can hear a small no with grace is a man who'll respect the bigger ones later. A man who punishes you for it, even subtly, is showing you exactly how the next two years will go.

One of my clients, Sherry, told me that once she started paying attention to this, "one guy finally stood out and was present and stepped up." She's engaged to him now.

Ask a man what he's looking for. Then, over the next few weeks, hold his answer up next to his behavior.

He says he wants something real. Is he acting like a man who wants something real? Planning, following through, folding you into his life a little at a time?

Or does he say something real and act like something casual?

Write this down. When what a man says and what he does line up on their own, without you having to keep score, that's the green flag that matters most. And when they don't line up, the actions are the truth.

The Catch: You Can Only See Green Flags Before You're Attached

Here's the part I really want you to hear.

Every one of those green flags is easy to spot when you're clear-headed. The trouble is that most women check for them after the chemistry has already made the decision.

By then, a missing green flag comes with a reason it might not count. He's busy. He's shy. He's been hurt before.

The wrong man counts on that. A player's entire skill set is the first six weeks, and his whole job is to make you feel so much that you stop looking.

The women I've watched break the pattern flipped the order. They looked first, and then they let themselves feel.

They did it with a few ordinary questions in the first conversation. What happened with his last relationship. What he's looking for right now. Who he calls when something goes wrong. Nothing that felt like an interview, and he answered every one without noticing anything was happening.

But they knew exactly what to listen for. And most of the green flags on this list showed up, or didn't, right there in his answers, months before his behavior would have proven it either way.

That's what happens when you look for green flags instead of chasing a feeling. The wrong men fall away on their own, and the right one has room to show up.

If you'd like to see the questions to ask and exactly what to listen for, I've put it all together for you.

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If you're tired of meeting the same wrong man with a different name, I'd like to show you how to see who he really is by the end of the first conversation, before you've given him your heart.

I've laid out the full method for you. In it, I show you the three questions that expose a time-waster in the first five minutes, what to listen for in each answer, and the quiet green flags that tell you a man is actually going to follow through.

When you're ready, you can see it here.

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