Different men, same ending, and you've started to wonder if it's you. It isn't.
You've started to wonder if it's you.
Two relationships. Three. Maybe more. Different men, different cities, different starts. And somehow the same ending each time.
In the quiet, you began doing a kind of math no one should ever do on themselves. "I was the one thing they all had in common. So I must be the problem."
I want to take that thought out of your hands.
You were the common thread in the good parts too
Yes, you were there for every ending. You were also there for every morning you showed up, every time you forgave, every late night you spent loving a man who was only ever half in.
Being the common thread doesn't make you the flaw.
You loved men who weren't ready to love you back. That tells the whole truth about them. It says nothing about your worth.
A good woman stays a good woman
Here's the part that took me years to watch and finally understand.
The right man sees a giving, warm, loyal woman and treasures her. He knows what he found.
The wrong man sees the same woman and uses her. He takes the patience, the second chances, the soft place to land, and gives back as little as he can get away with. Then, on his way out, he calls her "too much."
Same gift. Two completely different men. The gift was never the issue.
Please don't take the wrong lesson
Most women walk away from a string of these and decide to change the wrong thing. "I gave too much. Next time I'll give less. I'll guard my heart. I'll keep one foot out the door."
Please don't. The world does not need you colder.
Your warmth was never the leak in the boat. The only thing worth changing is where you kept pouring it.
You don't need less heart. You need better aim.
You're not the reason it kept ending. You're the reason it was ever good while it lasted.
A good woman is always a good woman. And the right man has been quietly hoping to find exactly that.
Talk soon,
Matthew Coast
P.S. If a friend came to mind while you read this, the good one who keeps choosing wrong, send it to her. Some women need to hear it from the outside before they can believe it on the inside.